Where have I been? lol. Lost in this crazy world I guess. I have so much to catch you guys up on and to vent about. So look in the next couple days to be completly caught up on all things Jewell.
For tonight I will not blog much because my heart is hurting and I am trying to be the better person in a not so favorable situation.. all to be explained whan Im calm.
I love you guys and thank you for reading.
I hope the next few posts will enterain and inform you on my crazy life... see you soon!
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Addiction and me.
Once again, before I begin, I will add a disclamer. Some of the thing you read might upset you and make you look at me in a different way. This is not my hope. My hope through writing is that I can change, not only myself, but maybe someone else. Some one who knows the feelings I have. So..... that being said....
Addiction is defined as the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma. 'Enslaved to a habit', those words say it all. It is the feeling that you have to do it, that you need to do it, that you will not be able to make it without. Many people do not understand the feeling, cause they are not an addict. It is easy for people to judge and condem addicts because of this. My own family does not understand. I have, recently, had several talks with Gran; and while she will never fully understand, she does get it, and she is an encouraging force behind my decision to quit. I have been drinking for years. Add in extracurricular activities and its a wonder why I am still alive. Let me clarify, when I say drink, I dont mean 1 or 2 beers; its more like 6-12-24 a night. Yes, I know that number is outrageous looking at it. I cant have just one and stop. Ive tried. I have wanted to quit for years, just never had the strength to. But I have put my foot down and told myself it is time. I want to cut the strings on the slaveholder..aka...alcohol.. and be me again. I dont want to be, what they have called me at work, 'a functioning alcoholic'. Thats not who I want to be known as and if I ever want to make it in this world I need to change now. So, today marks day13, minus one slip(which I will talk about in a min). The first four days where horrible. My head was pounding, my body was aching, I was shaking, sweating, all the good stuff. But I made it. Cause I knew I had too. My one slip came when I wasnt strong enough to resist going out to my usual Friday night Karaokee with friends. I started good, with a diet coke and monster, but all the alcohol around me, I wasnt ready. I shouldnt have gone, and I regret that I did. However, it did make me realize that I want this more than I ever imagined I did. So here it is Thursday, 13 days after the 1st non drinking day, and I am feeling good. I realize I am tired now, which in reading articles is a way of my body answering to no alcohol. Maybe I was tired for years and just never could get rest. I have about 20 different things planned for this weekend to keep me busy as not to slip again. I know that I will lose friends over my decision, but if you will walk away when I need support the most, then you really wernt a friend to begin with. I fight this every moment of every day, and I ask that you keep me in your prayers. Trying to stay focused on school, family, and God. I have faith that I will beat this addiction and cant wait to look back after 30 days, then 60, then 6 months, then a year... and know I did the right thing.
Well, thats my story and Im sticking to it! haha!
Peace out.. have a great and prosperous day!
Addiction is defined as the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma. 'Enslaved to a habit', those words say it all. It is the feeling that you have to do it, that you need to do it, that you will not be able to make it without. Many people do not understand the feeling, cause they are not an addict. It is easy for people to judge and condem addicts because of this. My own family does not understand. I have, recently, had several talks with Gran; and while she will never fully understand, she does get it, and she is an encouraging force behind my decision to quit. I have been drinking for years. Add in extracurricular activities and its a wonder why I am still alive. Let me clarify, when I say drink, I dont mean 1 or 2 beers; its more like 6-12-24 a night. Yes, I know that number is outrageous looking at it. I cant have just one and stop. Ive tried. I have wanted to quit for years, just never had the strength to. But I have put my foot down and told myself it is time. I want to cut the strings on the slaveholder..aka...alcohol.. and be me again. I dont want to be, what they have called me at work, 'a functioning alcoholic'. Thats not who I want to be known as and if I ever want to make it in this world I need to change now. So, today marks day13, minus one slip(which I will talk about in a min). The first four days where horrible. My head was pounding, my body was aching, I was shaking, sweating, all the good stuff. But I made it. Cause I knew I had too. My one slip came when I wasnt strong enough to resist going out to my usual Friday night Karaokee with friends. I started good, with a diet coke and monster, but all the alcohol around me, I wasnt ready. I shouldnt have gone, and I regret that I did. However, it did make me realize that I want this more than I ever imagined I did. So here it is Thursday, 13 days after the 1st non drinking day, and I am feeling good. I realize I am tired now, which in reading articles is a way of my body answering to no alcohol. Maybe I was tired for years and just never could get rest. I have about 20 different things planned for this weekend to keep me busy as not to slip again. I know that I will lose friends over my decision, but if you will walk away when I need support the most, then you really wernt a friend to begin with. I fight this every moment of every day, and I ask that you keep me in your prayers. Trying to stay focused on school, family, and God. I have faith that I will beat this addiction and cant wait to look back after 30 days, then 60, then 6 months, then a year... and know I did the right thing.
Well, thats my story and Im sticking to it! haha!
Peace out.. have a great and prosperous day!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
1 year dwiversarry!
Ok, so before I get lots of negative feedback about why would I share this, why is it important, ect... let me say, I share my experiences to possible help others and to help myself as I continue on this long journey. I hope this doesnt upset anyone, and that you will keep reading, you may find it interesting.
That being said... Today marks the one year mark of when I got my DWI. This past year has been filled with alot of ups and downs resulting from this. It woke me up. It made me realize I had, and still have(but on a much smaller and controlled scale) ,a problem. It made me realize that I was hurting more than just myself, but the poeple around me. I could have killed someone that day, but the Lord lead some one to call and have me pulled over. Years of driving under the influence had made me believe it was ok and that I could not get caught. Although it has cost me several thousand dollars, a few friendships, and many tears, I can look back and say I am thankful. It made me realize it was time to grow up. I have been changing my life since then, and I will continue to do so. I hope that one day I can quit drinking alltogether, but things come in baby steps sometimes. Im learning lessons about life and myself through this that I would have never stopped to think about before. So I will always remember this day as an awakening. And when I reach my final goal of being sucessful and truely alchohol free, I will look back at this day with an adoration for making me aware that I am worth more. Keep me in your prayers, its not an easy road. I know I put myself here, but I also know that Im digging out.
Have a fab day folks~
That being said... Today marks the one year mark of when I got my DWI. This past year has been filled with alot of ups and downs resulting from this. It woke me up. It made me realize I had, and still have(but on a much smaller and controlled scale) ,a problem. It made me realize that I was hurting more than just myself, but the poeple around me. I could have killed someone that day, but the Lord lead some one to call and have me pulled over. Years of driving under the influence had made me believe it was ok and that I could not get caught. Although it has cost me several thousand dollars, a few friendships, and many tears, I can look back and say I am thankful. It made me realize it was time to grow up. I have been changing my life since then, and I will continue to do so. I hope that one day I can quit drinking alltogether, but things come in baby steps sometimes. Im learning lessons about life and myself through this that I would have never stopped to think about before. So I will always remember this day as an awakening. And when I reach my final goal of being sucessful and truely alchohol free, I will look back at this day with an adoration for making me aware that I am worth more. Keep me in your prayers, its not an easy road. I know I put myself here, but I also know that Im digging out.
Have a fab day folks~
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Hello friends!
Ok, so I know you are all wondering where the elusive Andrea has disappered to this time!!!! No, not jail..lol. Lets see, school started back last month, and let me just tell you that this semester is a doosie! Im taking 16 hours and Im just overwhelmed. I dont think I would really feel that way if my english professor (who is the dept head..ugh!) would realize that she is not my only class. Im not behind in anything, I just have so much to do that my life literally is passing me by, but it will be worth it. It better be!!! Riley is doing good, basketball season is almost over and he is trying out ( I almost sais auditioning..haha) for baseball. He has not played in years but he wants to. We will see. He still has his romance..ooohhhlala. Scary thing to be a parent of a teenager with a girlfriend. Dakota loves that he is the only one in the house now. I think he thinks he should be an only child forever..nope..sorry! He is just a joy to have around and I see so much of myself in him and his mannerisms. I am uber excited becasue this weekend we will be doing family photos, and good ones. It has been a good 6 years since we had them. I dont know why this excites me cause I hate photos, but I love my boys and not having Riley home, I miss him and us as a family whole. Im hoping the pictures will cover my walls and remind me of our family.
Gran has been in the hospital all week and I have been staying there for all except the last two nights, was getting behind on homework. I just got a call and Summer says that the test they did today shows the medicine is working and that she might get to go home. What an answer to prayer. Surgery was not what we wanted at all, a 20% change she would just make it through the procedure was not odds we liked. But God knows what he is doing, so Im just letting him work. Her birthday is tommorrow, she will be 86! Wow! She has lived a long and good life and its funny that shes ok if its her time to go home. We had that talk a few weeks ago, its an odd, yet comforting conversation.
Well, Im sure there is way more I need to tell you, but unfortunatly my next class is about to begin. I hope you all have a fabulous day and I promise not to be away from you for so long!! lol!
As always I will close with some prayer requests because I do believe prayer works...1. My Gran, we arent totally outta the woods and its going to be a long road, 2. Katrinia Bennett, liver needed to continue her service for the Lord, 3. Me, school, home, I need a better job, 4. and my boys! Being a teenager these days is not something I would want to do.
Have a fantabulous day Jewlers!!! (<---think it will catch on?)
Gran has been in the hospital all week and I have been staying there for all except the last two nights, was getting behind on homework. I just got a call and Summer says that the test they did today shows the medicine is working and that she might get to go home. What an answer to prayer. Surgery was not what we wanted at all, a 20% change she would just make it through the procedure was not odds we liked. But God knows what he is doing, so Im just letting him work. Her birthday is tommorrow, she will be 86! Wow! She has lived a long and good life and its funny that shes ok if its her time to go home. We had that talk a few weeks ago, its an odd, yet comforting conversation.
Well, Im sure there is way more I need to tell you, but unfortunatly my next class is about to begin. I hope you all have a fabulous day and I promise not to be away from you for so long!! lol!
As always I will close with some prayer requests because I do believe prayer works...1. My Gran, we arent totally outta the woods and its going to be a long road, 2. Katrinia Bennett, liver needed to continue her service for the Lord, 3. Me, school, home, I need a better job, 4. and my boys! Being a teenager these days is not something I would want to do.
Have a fantabulous day Jewlers!!! (<---think it will catch on?)
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Hello my friends!
I know you probably think that I have forgotten you, but fear not my faithful friends! School began last week and it has just been insane, but I wanted to write a quick little note and let you know that I have lots to tell you and hope that this weekend lends me some time to do so. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers, 1. because my course load is a little insane this semester, and 2. I interviewed for a position Tuesday that I really need. SO, look for my new post this weekend which should catch you up on all things Jewell=).
PS.....Keep praying for Katrinia Bennett, God is definetly working in that situation and the more prayer the better=)! love ya B+!
PS.....Keep praying for Katrinia Bennett, God is definetly working in that situation and the more prayer the better=)! love ya B+!
Saturday, January 14, 2012
God is good!
Well I have alot on my mind to share today, but both boys are home so I am sorry blog followers... but it will have to wait till Monday. I love when Riley is home for the weekend. So, Today was a great day, blessed at work and now blessed with my house full of laughter from both my boys! So, have a fabulous weekend and check back Monday for all things Jewell.
Prayer, it works..... I know it.
Aj
Prayer, it works..... I know it.
Aj
Friday, January 13, 2012
My degree intintions!
I would like my bloggers to be the 1st to know that I have decided what I will do concerning my school. I have decided that I will spend the extra 2 years and recieve my Masters in History and Government, then will enter LAW SCHOOL!!!! You read that right folks.. Im taking the plunge and aiming for the moon! Just wanted to share=)
Hope you all are staying warm and safe on this Friday the 13th!
Prayer requests for today...As any other day, my 1st is for Katrinia Bennett, my boys, my friend fighting addiction, my financials, my friend Joe Adrian concerning his move, my friends Stephanie Scianna and Heather Perry both entering back into college this semester, and me. Thanks!
Love to all..AJ
Hope you all are staying warm and safe on this Friday the 13th!
Prayer requests for today...As any other day, my 1st is for Katrinia Bennett, my boys, my friend fighting addiction, my financials, my friend Joe Adrian concerning his move, my friends Stephanie Scianna and Heather Perry both entering back into college this semester, and me. Thanks!
Love to all..AJ
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